Thursday, November 25, 2010

Sibling love

It has been long since I put down thought to paper and really there has been too many things going on in my life that I have hardly had the time to blog. Ok that’s an excuse. Truth is, any chance I get away from the kids I have been playing games on my HTC . Angry birds, WordUp you name I have it.

Anyway I wanted to share a little about siblings love. I am the only one from my mother and I have not truly felt any feeling of sibling love or rivalry, Which is why I am adamant about my Mubarak not being an only, lonely child, like I was.
As a child, I was always aware that I am an only child. Sure I had siblings from my dad’s earlier marriage but they were so old and distant they were as good as aunts and uncles.

I am always in awe of this great love between siblings. I feel a twinge of jealousy when my mother meets up with her sister and they huddle close together in a room and whisper. I feel lonely when I see my cousin and her brother share an inside joke on their parents. Of course, there are times I feel sorry for them when they have to share their toys /books (FYI, I hate sharing! That word shld never have been invented) and I secretly gloat about being an only child when my cousin or friend has to give in to a younger sibling just because and they scream “IT’S NOT FAIR! THAT’S MINE!!”

Still, I thought being an only child was no fun and I am glad that I am now the proud mother of 2 boys !

My husband and I try to inculcate sibling love right from the beginning. We tell the elder that his first best friend should be his brother and that no matter what he should always priorities his brother. We will tell the younger one the same when he understands the concept.

At 4 and 18 months. It is really too early to see if they have developed a lifelong sibling bond but we are happy with what we see so far. Whenever the younger one is being disciplined, the elder one will rush in with a hug and will try to soothe n placate him with a toy or food. Out of the blue while they are playing, the younger one will suddenly stop, turn to his elder brother and give him a loving hug which is reciprocated eagerly.
I also like how, despite having playmates his age, my elder will ask his younger brother to join in the fun. Whenever I ask the younger one to join me for a short bout of reading or when I call him to have his dinner, he will pull his elder bro along.

Of course this has its embarrassing moments too. Once while my mother and sister –in-law brought the elder out for some shopping, a lady shopper commented on how smart (mouth) my boy was and gave him a toy and a $2 note. (I don’t know why ppl give money to strangers’ kids but that is another post altogether) Instantaneously, he asked the lady, “what about my brother ? Where is his ? “ Ooops !

I have a distant relative who has 5 kids and the siblings are super close. They do everything together and now , even though they are each married and with their own families, they are still very close and always make it a point to meet up at least once a week. I would very much for my kids to be like that and I have on numerous occasions asked the mother what does she do to instill this great bond between them. She says she does not have any particular formula other than making the elder one personally responsible for the next one and that participating in family event is a must and is non-negotiable. Simple? Sounds very simple but actually implementing it will not be so easy, I think.

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