I have been blog-hopping quite a bit in recent days (that explains why I havnt been blogging myself) and I'm tickled by what I've read in relation to marriage & couplehood. Its funny how people perceive marriage. Especially people who are still single and unattached. Some can't wait to be married while some try to stay away for as long as possible. Some see marriage as the answer to all their problems while others see marriage as TROUBLE!!!
A fellow blogger said in her blog that she thinks marriage is over-rated. She said the trials and tribulations is much much higher in proportion than the roses and the romance. And she questions why then do we still want to get married when being single is so much less burdensome.
I do not, for a single second, profess to be an expert in the workings of marriage. After all it's only been 3 months for me and The Don. And as they say, it's still the honeymoon period for us. So everything's still rose-tinted. I guess if you go into a marriage thinking that everything will be all and sundry then you will definitely be left high and dry. If you think marriage is the beginning of the end of troubles then you'd be sorely dissapointed.
I discussed this with The Don and he brought up a very valid point, I think. He said if one's perception in life is such that you want things to always go smoothly then perhaps marriage isn't for you. Because in marriage, just like life in general, there will always be ups and downs. The only difference is your ups are higher and your downs are lower. But at least you have someone by your side all the time. Someone to share your laughter with and someone to wipe away your tears. After all, you could never appreciate true happiness until you have experienced sorrow. And indeed, how boring life would be if it was all a plateau all the way???
Personally for me, these 3 months have been shown me that marriage life is far greater than I could have ever imagine. Sure, my chores have tripled. Now I rush home from the office to cook dinner, my knees are sore from kneeling to mop the floor and I can feel myself retch when I see the pile of laundry but the perks have far surpassed any inconveniences of married life. For one, I never have to worry about my bills. I hardly even see my bills now. Everything is handled (superbly, I must add) by him.
And contrary to how marriage is perceived, I do not feel that I have lost my freedom. I have more responsibilities Yes, and so less of my time is for leisure but I am not shackled nor fettered. I still meet my girlfriends and I still throng glitzy Orchard Rd for shopping haunts. If anything, my social circle has expanded now, what with new neighbours and his friends' other halves.
And the best part of it all is the constant soundboard. Its fantastic having someone to share your thoughts with and always knowing that he will never judge you or your opinions. And its the little things that to me matters most. In the past if I forget to switch on my alarm clock then HELP ME GOD! but now every night, before we tuck in, He makes sure my alarm is switched on and my mobile batteries are plugged into the charger. And my friends will testify that I am absolutely not a cash carrier. I usually make purchases by NETS and if thats not available then I'll just charge it. This also usually means that during lunch time, if I happen not to have cash on me, I'd rather not have lunch than walk 5 mins to the ATM and queue. (The kedai makcik near my office doesn't have any cards facilities!!) But since I've been married, I've never been caught in such situation. And scatter-brained me never knew it was him who always puts money in my wallet until I saw him doing it one evening.
Again, contrary to what marriage is perceived, I do not get flowers every day. In fact, since the wedding I haven't received any. And yes, we have had a few bickers (and more on the way I'm sure) But do I mind, NO. And do I regret giving up my singlehood, NO. Because at the end of the day, marriage has given me someone to snuggle up to at night when I get cold.
