<h3>Going Dutch??</h3>

I was very amused reading Life's article on Sat "Are Singapore Women Cheapskates?" Apparently one expat complained in an online forum that Sg women always expect the men to pay on dates and do not even offer to go Dutch, much less offer to pay.

One lady interviewed said - 'Its an Asian concept. The idea of the men being the sole breadwinner. Besides if he can't even pay for this meal, how do you know he is capable of supporting you the rest of your life?' - I think it made a lot of sense. But of course you shouldn't take advantage either.

The whole episode got me thinking about my courting days with The Don. On the first few dates, I remember us constantly bickering whenever it was time to pay the bill. He, being the gentleman he has always been, insisted on paying but I, too, wanted to show that I was independent and capable of paying. When we were at fast food retaurants, we would inadvertently confuse the helpless counter staff who didn't know from whose outstretched hand to take money from. (my observations: they would usually take from him even though my hand could be nearer) The Don wouldn't hear of going Dutch. I remember him looking slightly offended when I suggested.

Such that by the 10th date, I think, I stopped offering to pay. From henceforth, up to today I always let him pick up the tab. If and when I wanna get something for him, I will do it on my own time and give to him as a present or specifically tell him eg. "today is my treat"

I have been spoilt, I know. But that doesn't mean that I totally disagree with the idea of the lady paying. Once you are in a comfortable relationship, and the need to impress is not so urgent, perhaps the guy should take the backseat and allow the lady to pay if she offers. Or better yet, go by the principle of the person who asks the other out should rightly foot the bill, regardless of gender. But I draw the line and I mean absolutely, when the guy takes advantage of the lady and actually ASKS the lady to foot the bill not once or twice but habitually. (you'll be surprised such things do happen) I think it's ungentlemanly, ungracious and downright uncouth. After all it can't be that the guy is always broke right? Well if he were then he needs to start spending within his limit and or else send him for financial management classes. Not sponge off the girlfriend. Besides, according to the lady interviewed, the lady will most probably end up supporting him their whole life, if they were to stay together. I think it's equally silly of the lady to allow such things to happen. If I were the lady in question, I'd certainly give the guy a kick in the ass and say SAYONARA.

So back to the question of Singaporean women being cheapskates. Well... I'd say u can't generalise. Perhaps the expat had a bad experience or the girls he met were out to suck him dry. And I'm sure there are girls who are cheapkates and looking for a free meal but while there may be a handful of such women, my guess is there are a lot more men who are the same.