<h3>I'll Drive You ..... UP THE WALL!!!</h3>

Even more often than the question of "Are you pregnant yet?" the question I have had to face most is "Why u don't want to learn driving?" Everytime I hear that question the alarm bells in my head start ringing. If I happen to be in a good mood I'd answer with a congenial "Oh I prefer to be driven instead of driving. After all, everywhere I go my husband sends and fetches me. :)" Or if I'm in a foul mood I'd go, "Why? You planning to buy me a car is it?" (with the accompanying slight edge to my voice and a menacing glare tsk..tsk..tsk)

Usually that does the trick and shuts people up but there are some who has not had a taste of my venomous spit or who thinks they are immune to it. These category of people will go on and say things like "So wasted. If not, when your hubby is not around you can drive his car. Then what about emergencies?" UUURRGGH!!! SPIT!! SPIT!!! Dun u think that if I wanted to drive I'd have taken the test a long time ago. Perhaps when I turned 18??? Or did the person think I was ignorant of the fact and that I needed him/her to remind me that I should drive and then zoom the next day I will go register??? What the !@#$??? (I'd normally swear here but I dun want to spoil the demure and dainty image you have of me!!! HAHA)

I don't think I was designed to drive. Apart from always wanting to step Datin ie: having somebody send and fetch anywhere I go. I personally think driving would be stressful. What with having to know the route of where you are going, constantly being on the lookout for cars around you, which roads are having ERP at what time and how much. etc. etc. And parking is a major headache. Everywhere here parking is exorbitantly overpriced. And the price of petrol looks set to increase and keep on increasing. And since I work in town, season parking + ERP + Petrol + Jam = OH SO NOT WORTH IT!!! (Yes I'm aware that The Don sending and fetching me from work also entails all the above except parking but thats from his pocket so it doesn't count!)

And in cases of emergencies, for God's sake, did they think we live in the middle of the Amazon Jungle? Is it so inconceivable that there are those things on the roads that looks like cars but slightly more colourful with the toncit on top. They have different names but all respond obediently to the sight of a outstretched female arm. Especially one laden with shopping bags. They will drive across 3 lanes and cause a slew of horns and middle-finger gestures from other drivers to come to a screeching heel. Other arms have said to have had varying fates. And pray do tell me, if I were really in an emergency why would I wanna drive anyway? Since even in the right frame of mind I feel driving can be a chore. What less when I'm panicky and in a hurry ?

Sure driving has its perks. But having a husband who drives and willing to play ferry covers all the perks for me minus all the hassle. It'd be a different story if my husband travels for work a lot and leaves the car sitting collecting dust a lot. But we always travel together. So unless he decides to switch jobs and begin travelling, I dun think I need to learn driving soon.

Besides, if u didn't already know it. I'm a klutz. Multi-tasking is something that doesn't exist in my vocabulary. I can be a bimbo at times, (hence my nickname given by The Don) the way I confuse my lefts and my rights and points to PIE (Jurong) to my uncle who wants to go to Eunos. I have completely no sense of direction and I have a 2-second concentration span. If I were driving my girlfriends, for eg, I won't be surprised if I momentarily forget I was driving and actually turn my head around to join in a gossip on the back seat. Friends who know me well know that asking me to drive is like asking me to go commit kamikaze. Either I will end up seriously injured or I'd be eaten alive by The Don for crashing his car. So I think its best to stick to the things I do well and leave the driving to the people who actually can.

In any case if I were to drive, this would probably happen to The Don's car.