MERDEKA !!!

For the record, I was born in Hospital Besar Kuala Lumpur some 24 years ago so that makes me a Malaysian. But at the age of 2 1/2, before I knew anything about passports and country and jurisdiction, my parents relocated to Singapore and I've been here ever since. My mom's a Malaysian and my dad's a Singaporean and I have relatives on both sides of the causeway. Judging from my history on paper alone, I should b more Singaporean than Malaysian. After all, I have lived here almost all my life, been educated through the stringent Singapore education system, socialised and mingled with Singaporean friends and family. Now that I have the Blue Singapore IC, you can say the only thing Malaysian about me is my Malaysian passport.

But my heart is MALAYSIAN and I'm goddamn proud of it.

I watch in awe and pride yesterday as we drove home from Desaru and we saw flags hanging everywhere. In shops, at the front gate of houses, along the roads and most obvious ones, on the bonnet of cars driving on the opposite side of the road. It was truly a marvelous sight.

I have always been very proud of my Malaysian roots. I am very close to the Malaysian side of the family and take every chance I get to go back to Malaysia either for holiday, shopping or to visit my family members. Alhamdulillah, The Don enoys being in Malaysia too and looks forward to going to Malaysia. In fact, he is planning to start a business in Malaysia and already has a company registered there.

Its funny how I feel so strongly about Malaysia and being a Malaysian considering the fact that I have never lived in Malaysia nor been through any experiences of being a Malaysian (Well, I havnt had a chance to vote !!!) I though it's just me but my best friend, Mahanom, who is in the same predicament (educated in S'pore born to Singaporean mother) feels just as strongly.

My Singapore family and even my collegues don't understand why I am so hype about being a Malaysian. They dun understand why Malaysians are so patriotic about their own country and question to whom are we showing our patriotism to.

Singaporeans don't quite understand the spirit of nationalism the way Malaysians do. They tend to equate the country with the ruling political party and refuse to display their flags in silent protest of the things they are not happy with the govt about. Hell, 60% of the population can't even sing their national anthem right. (Mali kita lakyat Sinjiapula...)

If not for fear of being deported and have my new house taken away from me, PR status revoked and bank accounts frozen, I'd hang the Malaysian flag at my home and let it fly high today. (Can't do it on the car coz the car's not under my name!!)

But I guess a Malaysian will always be a Malaysian, no matter which part of the world you are in.

SELAMAT HARI MERDEKA MALAYSIA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stress Free Weekend

Its gonna be one exciting, exhilarating weekend for us. After much planning and coordination between The Don and my cousin's hubby, Abg Wan, we managed to book a family villa at one of the golf resorts in Desaru. I havn't personally seen it but it seems its a double storey bungalow with 5 bedrooms. So we have asked the whole family along, my sister and bro-in-law, Umi of course, and my future parent's in law too. My cousin and her family will be driving down from Rawang tonight and early tomorrow morning, off we will go. There'll be BBQ, lotsa swimming, jetski(hopefully) and of course lots n lots of pics. Watch out for them, won't you ?

What's Your Stress Style?

Overreacter

You're an Overreacter. Putting you in the ranks of professional worriers everywhere, your stress style makes for a very dramatic life. You tend to imagine worst-case scenarios whenever possible — in some way, picturing the most severe outcome even feels comforting. But while stressing out before problems occur gives you a sense of control, it can also be exhausting (not to mention time-consuming).

Reacting sharply to stress may also make you prone to angry (even violent) outbursts. Reining in your knee-jerk reactions could help you get this tendency under control and make you a less unpredictable person to be around in times of trouble. So, chill out a little ... we promise the sky won't fall if you stop holding it up!

CLICK HERE TO DO THE TEST

Once you have the best, you don't need to look at the rest

As we were driving to work this morning, there was a very interesting discussion on Class 95's Morning Show. FD said ever since he became a married man, he found no reason to look/ogle/appreciate/ other women passing by, no matter how sexy or good-looking they are. He reasons "When you have the BEST, why bother looking at the rest?" Rod seemed flabbergasted at the idea, notwithstanding the fact that he is married. He thinks "A man's a man's a man" and they just can't help it, married or not.

I think thats great food for thought. How are you supposed to react after marriage when faced with a heart-throbbing member of the opposite sex? How will your partner react? Are you supposed to shield your eyes from all eye candy?

Preferably, I'd want my future husband to share FD's policy. It'd be a great compliment indeed if he feels that he already has the best and has no need to look at another woman. But when I think of my own reaction to seeing a good-looking man, I realise expecting so from him is double standards. No I do not flirt, or gawk or flutter my eye-lids like some of you would already be imagining by now, but I'd sure take a second look. After all, I go GOO=GOO-GA-GA when I see Tom Cruise or Aamir Khan and that's just on screen. I can't imagine how I'd react to seeing them in person.

Perhaps its inherent in us naturally to give a second glance at something (or someone) that catches our eyes. But I reckon there is a big bold line (in red, no less) between merely looking at a cute member of the opposite sex and ogling, or fantasizing or worse, making cat-calls or chatting them up. And if your partner is there next to you, if you can't catch a glance through the corner of your eyes (without him noticing), then you'd better just forget about looking and walk on.

I guess with being married comes responsibility. A responsibility to not hurt your partner's feelings and to maintain his or her good name. (with or without your spouse next to you) Being married also means that you should conduct yourself in a way that befits a married person. You should accept the one you marry as the one for you and not cast a roving eye onto other better looking specimens.

And I suppose thats where I draw the line. I feel its unreasonable to demand and insist that he NEVER EVER looks at another woman ever again. Just as I would feel it is unreasonable for him to expect the same of me. One thing we do now is that I am the one who usually points out a pretty girl by saying things like "Lawanye that girl!!". Apart from genuinely thinking that the person is indeed good looking, I guess its like a pre-emptive thing I do to make him less guilty for looking and to turn it into something harmless. The way I see it, I'd rather turn it into a positive thing than bicker and argue our way if I ever catch him looking at someone. I don't think I'll ever have a problem with this though, The Don doesn't have a roving eye. (Or so it seems!!! hhmmm!!!)

But so far, I have not dared point out a good-looking man. Maybe I should try and see what he'd say to that, hehehe.

I wonder if married guys consciously abstain from looking at a sexy woman passing by or if they look anyway with the thought that "looking is harmless" Do they even think of their significant other when their eyes go wander? Do they even remember they are married ?? I tried engaging The Don on this issue early this morning but he resisted and chose to stay politically correct and stay on "safe" ground. It'd be mighty interesting to dive into the workings of the mind of a married man when find themselves in such a situation? Any confessions???

The Right One

Ever since The Don and I announced our plans to get married, we have had to answer basically the same questions (albeit from different people) time and time again. (I suspect I am the one asked more often coz men dun usually ask their friends such things) Among the questions most oft asked are
"How do you know he's the one?"
"How do you know you are ready to settle down?"
"Don't you wonder if there are other men out there who's more suitable?" (I suppoz this question is asked bcoz we're each other's first relationship)

And you'll be surprised by the people who asks me. Relatives and friends are tolerable (I guess) but I've had these questions posed to me by people I didn't know from Adam. (Or Eve, in most cases!)Just because these people have a ring on their finger before me they think that makes them qualified enough to offer me advice. And if I were to compile the advice I've been getting, I bet it'd be like a chapter of "World's Funniest Jokes" - Everything from the best method of contraception to how to make your husband stay faithful to How to make your mother-in-law love you etc etc...But I digress.

So how do you know when you have found the "Right" one? My guess is as good as yours. There is no fool-proof way to know for sure. There is no litmus test to place on his forehead to see if he is "The One". But then again, there might be no such thing as "The Right One." Perhaps "Mr Right" is just some figment of some Hollywood scriptwriter's fantasies. Something concocted to boost box-office ratings. Something along the lines of "Prince Charming" or "Fairy God-Mother". Perhaps the basis for finding a life partner should be more mathematical. How many similiarities you have? How many traits do you share? etc etc. But neither is that a foolproof way. Sometimes it is these sheer differences that makes the relationship all the more interesting. Otherwise, the term "opposites attract" wouldn't exist.

At the end of the day, perhaps the only plausible way of discerning is your GUT feeling. How you feel when the person is around, does the person's value systems match your own, do you feel secure with him and if you can see him in your future etc etc. To put it in a simplistic way, when you get butterflies in your stomach when you see him even after many many years together and seeing each other everyday.

Then there is the story of age. Whenever I tell someone I will be getting married at the end of the year, one of the most common questions that follow is how old I am. When I say I am 24, they will go "Aaah.. that's the right age to get married." How in the world did these people settle on 24 as "the right age". Is there such a thing in the first place? So does that mean marriages that happen at other ages are not right?

No wonder girls of today starts to feel pressurised when they hit 25 and are still single and available. I hear your thoughts - "Easy for me to say after all I am getting married by the end of this year" - Perhaps, you have a point. But seriously I have no qualms about age. In fact, if you must know, both The Don and I feel that we are a bit too young to be married. Our initial plan was to tie the knot two years down the road. But certain things are just that way. They don't exactly turn out the way you plan, no matter how you twist and turn it so. Nevertheless, we take it as a blessing and choose to see it as destined. We believe that whatever happens is at God's will and that HE knows best.

Perhaps all those out there fretting about not being married should take the same view too. After all, marriage is not something you can devise and plan. And whether you get married at 16 or 60, its the happiness that is most integral. And about that much elusive "Mr RIGHT" .. have faith that he will come along when the time is right.

WHO'S YOUR MR RIGHT ????

- Do this quiz to find out...

BABY BOOM???

I was quite surprised by last night's National Day Rally. Though the 5-day week has been rumoured since last week, its the attitude presented by Singapore's new PM that surprised me most. PM Lee seems earnest about changing the whole aptitude towards family life, not merely increasing the population. The 5-day week, longer maternity leave, reimbursement of medical expenses, the reduction in maid levy, more baby bonus, more teachers in schools, the reduced syllabus in schools etc etc...I'd say it's a damn good package. Especially for a first time NDP Rally by the new PM.

And personally, I'd say Hurrah!! because these changes would especially be relevant to The Don and me, especially in the next few years. (Assuming which we do not decide to migrate and have our kids elsewhere) I especially like it when PM Lee mentioned the burdening school load of kids nowadays. I'm glad the Powers That Be in this "red dot" island realise that the schools in Singapore now bears more resemblance to a pressure-cooker than a centre for education. I do not have first hand info on this (by virtue of me having left formal school eons ago and not having contact since) but experience and observations on my nieces and nephews is enough to make me go down on my knees and thank God I was not born in the 90's. They are virtually bogged down with schoolwork everyday. Coupled with co-curiculum activities and madrasahs and Quran-reciting class, they usually finish homework at 10++pm just in time to sleep and wake up the next day for another cycle. I remember with fondness how I used to finish all homework AND revision latest by 8pm and then it was TV time right up till bedtime!!!!! Those were the good ol' days...

As Different As Night & Day

My sis brought back a stack of boxes for me last night. No she is not kicking me outta the house. (not yet, anyway, hehe) I asked her to bring the boxes back from the hospital for me to pack my books. I have a whole lot of books and magazines to bring over to our new place. I am getting a headache just thinking where to put them in my new house, especially with the reno not done yet. Looks like they will have to stay in the boxes until The Don and I find a suitable bookcase to put in our study.


You know that question, "if you were stranded on an island, what or who would you want with you?" My answer would be a whole lot of books !!! I'd die without books. I started reading all on my own at the tender age of 3. I still can remember my very first book. A Read-It-Yourself Ladybird book "The Enormous Turnip". I think then, I must have had the entire collection of Ladybird books. I read almost everything and anything from heavy duty religious books to self-help books and even comics. (exception being horror stories, I dun find them the least interesting). And I read voraciously. Imagine completing Vikram Seth's 1504 pages of "A Suitable Boy" within a week. And no, I did not skip pages !!!! It probably comes from the blood. My parents are both avid readers, My late dad especially, being a journalist and all.

Which is why I never imagined myself marrying someone who considers reading a major chore. The Don does not enjoy reading, for some reason. (He can't do without his daily newspapers though, but thats about all he ever reads) He feels its too dormant an activity and takes up time for which he can do so much more. I used to feel quite disturbed by this. I felt that one can not be considered an 'intellectual' if one does not like reading (this was back when one of my criteria for a future hubby was that he must b an intellectual!) I wondered how in the world would I be able to communicate with him if he has no inkling as to what is happening in the rest of the world. And of course, I felt that since he does not read, he will not be able to share my love for literature and the world of words. Surprisingly, when it came down to it, it hardly mattered.

Sure, the line "TO BE OR NOT TO BE..." draws a blank look from him but ask him about the situation in Iraq and he'd be able to tell you the latest happenings complete wirh his analysis of what will happen in 2 years time. And about the "intellectual" bit, I've since realised he is what you would categorise as "street-smart" and thats a whole lot more useful for day to day living than E=MC2.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that 2 people can be poles apart but when you're meant to be together, somehow you will find the middle point and carve a path for your journey together. And when you look back, you will realise that the sights along the path you're on is way better than the road more oft taken.

Quizzed Out

You have an intellectual personality

You are highly analytical. You gather information before taking decisions, which must be the right one. Otherwise, you will be very disappointed by your performance. You are always calm and in control of your means. Your clothes are conservative and your home is sparkling clean. And, it goes without saying that you are punctual and attentive. In short...you are a born leader.


Alisa brought my attention to this quiz she did with very skewed results. She got the above result which she said was more a description of me than her. So I did the quiz myself and lo and behold, my results sounded more like a description of her than me. Hahahah. In any case its a silly quiz with very vague questions. But for the heck of it....here's the link for those who wanna try it anyway.

Do this quiz and see if they can get you right.

Let grace and goodness be the principal loadstone of thy affections. For love which hath ends, will have an end; whereas that which is founded on true virtue, will always continue.
John Dryden (1631 - 1700)

I think I'm finally getting it. It wasn't so much a conscious effort (altho I did resolve to do this months and months ago) It kinda just happened, somehow. I didn't even know it was happening till it was over then I looked back and said "Wow, did I just do it?? Yeah, I did it !!!" What's it, you ask? I did not NAG.

The Don was summoned to Court yesterday for speeding. He was caught speeding 40Km over the speed limit. They just sent him a notice to attend court. And you know how much he was fined??? A whole 800 buckaroos!!!!!!

Under normal circumstances, notwithstanding his predicament, I'd go on and on about how he is wasting money, paying the goverment over sumthing he could have prevented and how we are in such a great need for money now for the wedding and the house and WHY THE HELL WAS HE SPEEDING ???

But somehow, all words ceased to gush from my mouth yesterday. Sure I was upset and I was more than horrified at the amount. Imagine what we could have done with that money. (add another half carat more to my wedding ring, perhaps) But more than being upset, it was a feeling of emphathy that engulfed me. I felt like we were both in it together. You know, that "whatever you feel, I feel" cliche. I always thought that was a load of crap but I actually felt that way.

There were no sarcastic barbs, or any "I told you so" from me. No glaring of the eye or a pinch either. Frankly, I had no idea I was capable of being so supportive. And The Don clearly appreciated it. I search myself for answers as to why my reaction was so different. Initially I thought the excitement of the impending marriage has somewhat blunt my sharp tongue and made me incapable of being mean to him but no. I think this is part of the changes I have manage to make in my effort to improve myself before I enter the arch of marriage. I know its still a long way and I have many other changes to make but I'm feeling extremely encouraged by what happened. And the best part of it all, is when he looks at me and say "LIFE IS SO WONDERFUL WHEN YOU HAVE SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU AND LOVE THAT SOMEONE"

All together now......"AAAWWWWWWWWWW" ..............

ABCD.....XZQT....

XZQT is having a warehouse sale. Prices are said to be slashed up to 70% and I just HAD to take a look. So after work yesterday we dropped by for a while. Their warehouse is somewhere in Clementi but driving there felt like going to the end of the world. For me at least.

Of all the things there I like the clocks best!!! Nice ?


They had a huge collection of beds too.(too bad we already bought ours the day before) The stuff they had there were worth drooling over. And true to the adverts prices were slashed down by some 30-60%. (altho their prices were still a bit steep) In the end, despite it being a SALE, we walked out with only a small tiny paper bag.

There's another John Little Warehouse sale at Singapore Expo starting today. Hmmm... let's see what I can get from there to add to my new home.

Shop Shop Shop Weekend

It was definitely one of the bestest weekends we've had so far. We managed to do a whole lot of things and spend a whole lot of money too. hehehe

It was a stay-in Saturday afternoon just chilling out at our new place. Ever since we got the house, it seems all we wanna do on weekends is laze around at our new crib watching whatever's on cable. The house gets dusty very easily since its along the main road so everytime we go over we have to clean up the place first. Luckily The DON is quite helpful. (ok, actually very helpful (just in case he's reading this, hehehe))

In the late afternoon, we brought Muhd Idris to West Coast Park. The previous 3 times we went there it was at night so we never appreciated the things they have done to the place. There's this huge adventure playground filled with sand with spiderwebs and that tarzan thingy where u sit on a wooden plank and hold on the rope that gets you over to the other side. Idris look so excited when he saw the playground but looked stricken when he realised its sand under his feet. Even though he was in shoes, he started tip-toeing all the way.


After our 2nd fitting at the Mak Andam's place on Sun, I managed to coax The Don to go to the Furniture Mall at HarbourFront with me. We just intended to have a look-see but when we entered the Sealy showroom, sat on one of the beds and literally couldn't move our butts off the bed. It was sooooo comfy!!! They are having a promo on their new PosturePedic range (free bed frame) and are also giving away free mattress protector and 2 Sealy pillows. Umi also found one bed she liked and before I knew it, The Don was already giving delivery instructions for both beds.



There's a starhub promo going on as well. Maxonline 1500Kbps broadband connection sign up gets us a Limited Edition Crystal XBox. Since we will need to sign up anyway, we decided to do it over the weekend to get the Xbox. I had earlier promised The Don to get it for him for his birthday this year but since its free I guess there's his bday present then. Hehehe (I hope he wun ask me for a replacement bday gift!)


The connection will be up within 24 hrs but we can only collect the xbox set next week. Meanwhile anybody can recommend any games on xbox??? I wonder if there is a Sims games on Xbox...