Bobby posted this on his blog and I just had to copy and paste it here to share it with u. Its so true, ain't it?
~Being Twenty Something~
They call it the "Quater-life Crisis"
It is when U stop going along with the crowd and start realizing
that there are many things about urself that U didnt know
and may not like. U will start feeling insecure and wonder where U will be
in a year or two~~but then got scare because U barely know where U are now~~
U start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe,
those frens that U thought U were so close to arent exactly the greatest
people U have ever met, and the people U have lost touch with are some of the
most important ones. What U dont recognise is that they are realising that too,
and arent really cold catty, mean or insecure, but that they are as confused as U!!
U look at ur job....and it is not even close to what U thought U would be doing,
or maybe U are looking for a job and realizing that U are going to have to start
at bottom and that scares U~~
Ur opinions has gotten stronger. U see what other doing and find urself judging more
than usual because suddenly U realise that U have certain boundaries in ur life
and are constantly adding things to ur list of what is acceptable and what isn't.
One minute, U are insecure and then the next, secure.???!!!!U laugh and cry with the
greatest force of ur life.
U feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and U try and cling
on the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away,
and there is nothing to do but stay where U are or move forward!!
U get ur heart broken and wonder how someone U loved could do such damage to U..
or U lie in bed and wonder why U cant meet anyone decent enough that U want to get to know better.
Or maybe U luv someone but luv someone else too and cannot fgure out why U are doing this
because U know U arent a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot
started to look pathetic.
U go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with ur frens about the
same topics cuz U cant seem to make a decision. U worry about studies, money..the future
and making a life urself..and while winning the race would be great, right now u'd just like to be a contender!
What U may not realise is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times
and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out~~~~
I remember being eighteen and thinking that the world was at my feet. With all the indoctrination and the advise given over and over again by parents and teachers, (no doubt with our best interests at heart) I honestly believed that "I can be ANYTHING" I want and nothing is unachievable". Now, pushing 25 and three years into the "real" world, I realised it's just a whole load of crap. Much like those slimming ads which promise 10 inches off your waist and those anti-wrinkle creams that will make you 10 years younger. I'm stuck doing somthing I dun even have the qualifications for and the certs I went to hell and back for sits idly in my clear folder, staring at me mockingly whenever I flip thru the file.
I go through seasons of hovering helplessly between feeling grateful that I am where I am today and feeling downtrodden at why life didn't hand me a better deal. I've long lost those rose-tinted glasses I used to view life through and instead have adopted an in-built magnifying glass, scrutinizing and no doubt judging every person who comes my way, always skeptical and trying to read between the lines of the spoken and unspoken for any hint of insincerity. Oh Gawd! I've turned into a cynic!!
Yes, perhaps you may say I am more lucky than most (in the love dept at least) but life's still not anywhere near what I imagined it to be. Perhaps thats the whole point of life. No doubt life as it is now is not exactly what we have in mind but therein lies the challenge. Its never too late I guess. After all we're just in our twenties. Maybe what we envision can only be achieved when we are 30 or 40 or even 50. Or perhaps even not at all. But I guess we can't stop trying...after all if we do, then there will be no point in life then is there?
2 comments:
as i read thru this entry... i imagined a few strands of grey hair slowly pushing their way out to the surface of your head.
dear, are you so stressed out? sounding rather jaded there.
No I'm not stressed out. I'm merely lamenting the fact that we're in our 20's and already most of us are filling that we have missed the boat. I guess the thing to do is to learn how to bersyukur with what we have rather than to think aout what we don't.
Post a Comment