<h3>What Comes After "I DO"??</h3>

Call me methodical but I have been really motivational about making sure we start our marriage on the right foot. I have been reading voraciously on the subject both the secular and religious aspects of it. Its part of my preparation for my journey into the next stage of my life - the land of Mrs-hood. I have a long list of books that I am slowly completing and so far I am halfway there. The speakers at the kursus pra-nikah I attended gave us another list of "must-read" books to cover but these books cover parenting as well so I guess I'll cross that bridge when we are nearing it. The Don is not much of a reader (he hardly has the time anyway) but he is ever ready to listen and share whatever knowledge I've gain. He is a superb sounding board and we always discuss and debate the pros and cons of a particular way of conflict handling or theory on maintaining communication between married couples. We also had a fun time doing the quizzes and tests.

I started reading as soon as we were engaged in Jan 2003. I believe that despite having known The Don for the last 8 years, marriage will be another ball-game altogether and I don't want to be shocked out of my wits. I have a few living examples of couples in the family and soon-to-be-family who are married then think that's the end of the story. They simply exist only in their own world and shirk their responsibilities as sons and daughters-in-law and are a constant glass shard in their parents and parents-in-law hearts. I want to make sure we don't go down the same road. Granted, not everything can be learnt from books but at least it is my hope that with this knowledge, we are more aware of our responsibilities to people around us and are also more adept at handling conflicts between us.

One thing I realise while reading is that Islam is such an encompassing religion. It is truly complete and it teaches us everything!!! Right down to the tinyiest, minutest detail. Subhaanallah!!! Now I truly understand why islam is said to be Ad-Deen (the way of life) And if you actually read Sirah Rasullulah, especially his ways with his wives, you will be lost for words. He is utterly gentle with his wives and always prioritise their feelings. If only the men of today can be half as great as the Prophet S.A.W....

Anyway one book all girls comtemplating marriage must read is this: (click the book for excerpts!!) Its a light read but nevertheless full of tips and information.  it covers everything from handling your in-laws to managing your finances and what I like best about it is the bits of anecdotes from living, still-married couples. Hilarious doesn't even begin to describe it.


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